If you were paying attention to your respective dogma or ideological principle you would already know that we are surrounded by many different beings or spirits. Reams of sacred texts have taught how people coped with spirits that influenced their lives over the years. For the most part these restless souls are still wandering around within the confines of the spirit-world kicking over garbage cans. Granted there are many more apparitious dudes floating around and some of them are not so cool. If you paid attention to your sacred texts or oral traditions these dorks are actually no biggie and a simple request or prayer will whisk these buttheads of the dark out of your hair.
It does not really matter which dogma you follow since they all speak about these minions and how to cope with them so it should be a no brainer. Unfortunately many people continue to walk this duel life where spirits or ghosts don’t exist yet they claim to be devout followers of their respective dogmas. Now really, how far beyond stupid is that eh? The cold hard fact of the matter is, spirits exist and always have existed since before your dogma was ever written. The only real difference between us and spirit is that sack of meat we lug around called the body. Other than that, we are spirits in every respect and whence we kick the proverbial bucket we will be floating around doing what spirits do. Hopefully you don’t decide to pushing ashtrays around and terrorize your widow. But if that’s your choice then so be it. But I believe there is a protocol within all dogma’s that guide you through the routine after you leave life on earth so maybe its time to pay attention.
Frankly I find any and all parlor games some rapacious spirits like to pull off quite lame and I am not impressed one iota. Give me a break, so you’re dead but that does not give you license to barge into my pad and screw with my sleep or move my furniture around. Moving chairs is just plain stupid for a spirit to do in my opinion. Why the hell would these boneheads waste their time trying to freak me out anyway? If they really wanted to do something they could clean out my fridge or water the horses but waking me up at odd hours of the night just pisses me off and they don’t get the response they were looking for. Fact is, a person should never be brow beaten by any spirit no matter how ugly they try to make themselves. I prefer to whisk the air around them while showing them the door since I have no use for these foolish apparitions. I could give a flying crappola about their threats either and I’ve been given all kinds of threats by these goons of darkness in the past. They don’t have power unless you feed them with your fear, plain and simple.
Oh they will rush up to you with some hideous looking face they contorted to freak you out but that’s all they really can do unless you play into the fear factor. But if you stand your ground, even if you’re freaking, they will eventually leave you along since you did not feed into their B.S. After all, bad or lame spirits feed on fear and that is what gives them power, just remember that. But your respective dogma will provide you the necessary tools to cope with these butt-cracks of the hereafter provided you are paying attention. Within my tradition we don’t give these crumbs an inch since they will take a mile if you let them and fear is their primary objective. It is not to say I would not get startled but who wouldn’t if someone or something tried to spook you in the dark. But once I get my bearings I am chasing them around with a broom just to screw with them and they don’t like that at all. As far as I’m concerned, they were punks and sidewalk commandos in life and they still are punks in death. Besides, they were too stupid to continue their journey and chose to hang out here. How far beyond stupid is that eh?
The big deal about coping with spirits, especially at this juncture in time, is the fact the spirit-world is interfacing with our plain of existence more and more. People are doing some lame things these days and its all about those “voices in their heads” gawd. Those voices are them butthead spirits telling people to toss Joey in the oven or whack their spouse’s heads off. Within my tradition we already know the shroud of evil has descended on humanity. Deception and greed has become the order of the day where humanity is of minor consequence and regardless of how bad this is, it’s only a sign of bigger things to come. The reality is the fact man’s nonsense will soon be washed away as people struggle to survive natural events rendering man’s influence only to a pimple on an elephant’s ass by comparison. We may think we are struggling now but in the future this will be a fond memory.
My people embrace this time of change since we’ve lived in squalor for generations, well after my people were colonized and placed in reservations that is. For us indigenous types this time of change is liberation from hundreds of years of lies and broken promises. You guys only get play in this fetid crappola for the next few years, so you lucked out in a way. And I don’t want to receive any hate mail telling me how prejudice I am with white people because I have a ton of nonnative friends I work with in the entertainment industry. The message of change and spirituality is a universal message for all of humanity and not relegated just to us red guys. We are not privy to this time of change; it’s just that this axiom was never removed from out tradition.
Charlemagne and his minions made sure all you Euro dudes lost your ancient traditions and in a way he was Europe’s General Armstrong Custer for all the death and destruction Charlemagne and his lineage bestowed on those who did not pray his way, what a spaz. And they called him the great builder of Europe, paleeze. Hmm, come to think of it why is it when I mention my indigenous history people get the red ass and tell me that I should be more kind and sensitive about it? There is nothing sensitive about what happened to my people since it was wholesale genocide, rape and torture and there is no kind way to describe a holocaust either. Unfortunately this was committed by Europeans and their descendants so there is no way to gently unmask this reality. There, I vented…
I still think spirits from the Creator have a great sense of humor since, for what ever reason, they chose me to be one of the many messengers preparing man for the time of change. Believe me, I did not choose this job since I was perfectly happy being a goon in my corrupt little world shaking down creeps, pushing my weight around and doing wheel stands with my 53’ Panhead. But nooooooo, here I am warning people of impending danger and asking them to seek out their own spirituality within their respective dogmas in order to survive the times that lay ahead. In a way there is consolation though, it was also prophesized many people would not heed my ramblings or that of their respective religious icons so if you don’t buy into my stuff, oh well, ain’t no skin off my nose but at least I did give you a heads up.
I am just not the fluffy messenger with trumpets playing and all that. I’m just a crusty old native guy with a salty disposition and a chip on my shoulder who could give a flying crappola what people think since I really don’t care. Just remember that spirits are on the prowl and the secret to dealing with them and the time of change is written within your scared texts, I know because I even read it. Maybe you should read your sacred texts; it may save your life in more ways than one. Now was that fluffy or what?
Your Devil’s Advocate